10 facts about David Blunkett

We've compiled 10 facts about demented, slightly to the right of Hitler cabinet minister David Blunkett

1 David Blunkett's favorite colour is black.

2 David Blunkett once bummed his dog by accident, thinking it was some lass he'd pulled.

3 Due to his visual disability, David Blunkett once did a shit in a flower pot then spent 10 minutes trying to flush the door handle.

4 David’s favorite joke is - “knock knock” – “Who’s there? Hello...Is anybody there?”

5 David Blunket finds XSL much simpler at manipulating XML, rather than the long winded fiddly nonsense that is Flash MX 2005.

6 David is extremely randy for a blind man, but still has no idea what a girl looks like bare. His best guess, based on touch is a sort of big lumpy blancmange with a face.

7 David is a gentlemen and a very sensitive lover. However if a girl wont let him ram both of his sweaty knackers in her gob then jizz on her face he uses his contacts in the government to have her 'erased'.

8 David Blunkett is a big blind twat.

9 David looks forward to his Friday night routine of eating sugarsnap peas, humus, olives, poppy seed crackers and feta cheese, listening to Will and Grace on the TV and wanking.

10 David recently applied to be the next James Bond, but was turned down because he kept pressing the wrong button in his specially modified Aston Martin and ejecting his guide dog 200 ft into the air.